These are the most common skits used by stage hypnotists. Use your imagination -- the sky is the limit!
You are an alien from another planet, but you have to learn English.
We are now all at a picnic have a wonderful time. You are eating, drinking, and laughing. On the count of three, the picnic is being invaded by ants. 1, 2, 3. There are dozens of ants all over your food and on you.
Arms - Heavy:
Your arms are so heavy that you cannot lift them.
Arms - Floating:
Your right arm is now floating in the air. As you push the right arm down, the left arm floats up.
Tell the subjects that they will look out into the audience and notice that everyone is naked.
Tell all of your subjects that they are professional race car drivers and will now be driving in a race.
I know that all of you are very smart for being in the first grade. I need your help. I am trying to find out where babies come from. Whoever knows, raise your hand.
You are holding a cute little baby. The baby is starting to cry. You need to burp the baby. As you burp the baby, something is come out of both ends.
Almost everyone in the world likes you, but now that you're in the third grade, there may have been a time when someone called you a bad name. On the count of three, I want you to think of the worst name that anyone has ever called you.
Tell all of the subjects that they will begin to notice a bad odour coming from the person sitting next to them.
You are a major league baseball coach giving signals to a runner on first.
Become a Celebrity:
Tell the group that they are all well-known celebrities. You may then have them introduce themselves or conduct and interview with a selected few.
Being the Parent:
On the count of three, you will pretend to be the parent. You will be yelling at your child about how their room looks.
On the count of three, some part of your body is beginning to itch. You will need to scratch it.
You are the world's biggest bragger.
Every time I touch my chin the women will realize that their bra strap has just broken. The men will realize each time I touch my chin their zipper is open.
Can't Tear Paper:
Hand a piece of paper to several subjects and tell them that they will be unable to tear the paper.
Tell the subjects that they are all becoming a cartoon star. You may now interview several of them.
One the count of three, it will be Christmas morning. You are all children and surprised at what you received.
On the count of three, you will all make the sound of a coffee pot percolating.
Tell the subjects that they are all feeling very cold.
You are young children colouring in your colour books. On the count of three, the person next to you just coloured in your book. One, two, three …
You are at the theatre watching a cowboy movie. Watch those cowboys ride and shoot!
One the count of three, you will be on a cruise ship -- the ship is rocking back and forth. Be careful walking.
You are Cupid and will be looking for someone to shoot your love arrow at.
You are all very cute. There has been on time when either you or adults thought you were even cuter than you are now. One the count of three, I want you to remember the cutest time in your life.
You are a great dancer - you will now begin to dance.
Dancers and Boxers:
One the count of three, all the women on the stage are ballet dancers. The men great boxers. 1, 2, 3 -- on the count of three you will switch roles.
On the count of three, you will realize that you are a dandruff tester. You will walk around the stage (audience) and be looking for dandruff.
You are a contestant on the Dating Game and you don't want to date the woman (man) on the other side of the screen.
You are now walking in deep, deep snow.
(Men) On the count of three, you are now Dirty Harry. (Women) On the count of three you are Dirty Henrietta.
You are a famous disk jockey on a rock and roll station.
In a moment I am going to give each of you children a piece of paper and a marker. All of you will draw me a nice picture.
Select one of the subjects to be a Marine Corps drill instructor and allow them to either inspect the other subjects or the audience as new recruits.
Have the subjects imagine eating various types of food such as watermelon, ice cream cones, and corn on the cob.
You are a world famous elbow inspector. You will walk around and inspect other people's elbows. Make sure they bend correctly.
Men - every time I say "Janet Jackson" up will feel excited and happy. Whenever I say "Michael Jackson" it will quickly go away and you'll be sad.
You will tell how you lived to be the age of …
You are now an expert on your company and will describe the duties of the boss.
Explain Club President:
You will let the rest of us know what the president of the club's best qualities are …
You are the Easter Bunny and will explain where the eggs come from.
Now that you have graduated, you will tell the rest of us how you cheated.
You will be a great marriage counselor and tell us each how to have a better marriage.
You will begin to gossip about where you came up with the money to buy the huge, new mansion you just purchased.
You will not begin to explain to Mr. Turkey what is going to happen to him.
Your eyes are now locked and will not open.
You are a well-known fashion designer and will help some people in the audience.
On the count of three, you will all recall what your father used to do on Father's Day.
Favorite Part Growing:
Advise the subjects that their favorite part is now becoming larger and larger. (Be sure to return it to normal size.)
Favorite Part Shrinking:
Inform all of the subjects that their favorite part of their body is shrinking.
You are watching a large fireworks display and each time I snap my fingers, you will either say "Wow" or "Cool!"
On the count of three, you are all going fishing. 1, 2, 3 - bait that hook with a big, juicy worm.
Flight to the Moon:
Tell the subjects that they are on a rocket ship ride to the moon. Have them look outside the window and describe what they see.
There is a fly near your face. Swat at it.
You cannot recall how to add. Each time you try to add, you will come up with the answer 842.
You can no longer remember your address. You can recall what your house looks like, but you do not remember the street or the numbers.
You cannot recall how old you are - you have no idea how old you are - the only thing you know for certain is that you are not two years old.
You can no longer recall the alphabet. Each time you start to say the alphabet you will say EIEIO.
(The following skit is best performed on a married subject) You cannot recall your anniversary. You will not be able to remember the date.
You will no longer remember anything about your car. You cannot recall the make, model, colour, year, or style.
You can not recall the country which you are from -- you can remember different counties, but none of them sound familiar.
On the count of three, you will think of a funny joke that you would like to tell me. When I allow you to tell the joke, you will totally forget the punch line.
Forget Last Bath:
It is impossible for you to recall the last time you took a bath or shower.
On the count of three you will not remember your name.
You will no longer be able to recall the number one. Counting for you has always began at the number two. Ask the subject to count to ten. Ask them to count the fingers on each hand. (The answer will be six) Ask them what six plus six equals. (The answer will be twelve) Ask them to count their fingers. (The answer will be eleven) Ask them how many legs they have and have them count them. (The answer will be three) Continue with "how many arms -- noses, etc.
Forget Past Skit:
You will not be able to recall doing the past skit. When I ask you what you've been doing, you'll have no idea.
Forget President/Prime Minister:
You cannot recall who the President/Prime Minister is -- each time you try to think, you will think of a cartoon character.
You have now forgotten what sex you are -- you know that you are either male or female, but cannot recall which one you are.
You cannot recall how to spell any words with more than three letters.
You will not remember anything about any type of sport. You will have no idea how the game is played.
Forget Spouse's Name:
You cannot remember your spouse's name. You know that you are married, but you cannot recall their name.
You can no longer remember where you work.
Fortune Teller/Mind Reader:
You are a great fortune teller and have the ability to tell what people their future or what they are thinking.
On the count of three, all of you are at a casino playing the slot machines. Put the money in and pull the arm.
You have just found out that you are gay. You will look out into the audience and find some one that looks good to you.
Good and Bad:
I know that most of the time you are all good children. I want you to tell about one of the times that you were bad and what you did.
Gum on Shoe:
Tell all the subjects that they have gum on the bottom of their shoes and they should try to get it off. As they touch their shoes, the gum is now stuck to their fingers, hands, hair, and so on.
You are a hairdresser and want to work on the ladies' hair. Convince them that you know what you're doing.
Tell all the subjects that their entire body is becoming covered with hair.
You have just won an award for the best costume at a Halloween party. Tell me about your costume.
You right hand is becoming totally numb.
Start turning your hands around in a circle. Turn them faster and faster. They will not stop turning. When I snap my fingers, your hands will instantly begin turning the opposite direction.
Every time I touch my nose, you will yell out SHUT UP and then not know why you did.
Hide a Check:
You will now receive a check for ten thousand dollars - hide it where no-one will find it.
High Wire Walker:
You are now a high wire walker -- the type you see at a circus.
You are all becoming hippies from the 60s.
You are a hooker standing on a street corner trying to attract attention.
Give each of your subjects a number. Have them see a horse track with horses that have numbers that correspond to their numbers. Tell them that there is going to be a horse race. If their horse wins, they win 50 thousand dollars. Be sure to let them know that cheering is permitted.
Tell one of the subjects that the chair they are sitting on is becoming very hot.
Tell the subjects that they are beginning to feel very hot.
Husband and Wife:
The two of you are husband and wife and having one of your worst fights -- not hitting.
You are now becoming the hypnotist. On the count of three you will hypnotize the group.
Hypnotist is fake:
Whenever I sake the word GOOD, you'll stand up and say the hypnotist is fake.
Tell a subject of the opposite sex that they are madly in love with you. Tell them that they want to hug you, but there is an invisible shield all around your body and they cannot get through.
You are James bond, a secret agent.
You are now John Wayne in one of his cowboy movies.
Find a subject that is married who has their spouse in the audience. Have the spouse come up on stage. Give the suggestion that when the subject opens their eyes and sees their spouse, they will go over and give them a big kiss. Also advise them that their lips will become stuck together and they will not be able to separate until you say so.
One the count of three, you will begin to laugh at the person next to you.
Laugh at a Funny Movie:
Tell the subjects that they will see a funny movie that will cause them to laugh out loud.
You are now noticing the taste of a lemon.
Lost Belly Button:
On the count of three, you will notice that someone has stolen your belly button. 1, 2, 3. Put your hand over the opening so the air does not leak out.
On the count of three, you will sing, but nothing will come out of your mouth.
Tell all the subject that the next time they hear the number 34, they will know that they have just won 10 million dollars in the lottery.
State that everyone on stage is in a marching band. You may even have the entire group march around the stage/theatre.
On the count of three, you will be wide-awake and open your eyes. I will then attempt to hypnotize you by my thoughts. I will go to the corner of the stage and think the word sleep. Each of you will pick up on my thoughts and go into an even deeper state.
Mice on Stage:
On the count of three, you see mice running on the stage.
Mice on Stage - Variation:
On the count of three, you will see mice on stage, but you will respond in the opposite way you normally would.
You have just been crowned Miss America. You will walk around throwing kisses to everyone.
You are the world's greatest money collector. When I ask you , you will go out into the audience and begin to collect money for …
Tell the subjects that they are young children and watching a monster movie. This is a big, ugly monster. He is getting closer and closer. He eats little children for Breakfast.
You are now Mr. America and will walk around and show everyone your perfect muscles.
Music in a Shoe:
Tell all of your subjects that they will begin to hear their favorite music. Once the subjects begin to respond to the music, advise them that the music in coming from their shoes.
(Man) You will realize that your name is Shirley Temple. Whenever someone asks you your name, you will proudly say, Shirley Temple! (Woman) When you hear this man say his name is Shirley Temple, you will laugh and make fun of him. When I ask you your name, you will know that your real name is George Bush.
Select one of the subjects who smokes. Tell them that they will want to have a smoke, but it will taste like burning rubber.
Tell all of your subjects that they are in the second grade and that you are their second grade teacher. When you turn your back, they will make silly faces at you. When you are looking at them, they will be perfect angels.
New Year's Party:
You are at a wild New Year's Eve Party.
On the count of three, you will all remember the nicest thing your mother ever did for you.
You are a nurse that needs to give a shot to one of the people in the front row. You won't take no for an answer.
You are all young children and will each begin to say your favorite nursery rhyme. (Select the subject who performed the best for an individual skit of the same)
Ladies, whenever I say "look at me" and when you look into my eyes, you will find yourself having an orgasm and feeling wonderful.
You will begin to play paddy cake with the person sitting next to you. Go faster, faster, faster …
Advise one or two of your subjects that they are the world's best liars and that no matter what you ask about, they will lie about it.
In the story of Peter Pan, the fairy, Tinkerbell almost died because people didn't believe in fairies. You will help Tinkerbell live. On the count of three, you will begin to say "I believe in fairies." You will keep saying it until I let you know that it worked.
Pet a Dog:
Tell the subjects that they are holding a cute little puppy and pet the dog. Once all the subjects are petting the dog make the statement, "Look what that dog did all over you!"
Playing an instrument:
Advise all of the subjects that they are musicians and they will begin to play an instrument.
On the count of three, we are all going to stand up and play ring around the rosy.
You are at the movies having a wonderful time. You are eating popcorn by throwing it up into the air and catching it in your mouth. Now, there's a popcorn fight.
You are the first man to become pregnant. You will explain how this happened.
All of the women are open minded, fun-loving people. The men are all snobbish prudes.
Queens and Kings:
On the count of three, all of the women on stage will realize that they are queens of the world. All the men will realize that they are kings of the world. All of you will have opinions on how to make the world better for yourself.
State that it is beginning to rain and that everyone is getting soaked.
Tell the subjects that it is beginning to rain money and they may keep any of the money that they pick up.
You have all been good sports here tonight. Later on when you hear about what happened, you will get a big kick out of it.
You are now second graders at the movies. It's a romance movie with lots of kissing. (Yuck!)
The chair that you are sitting in has rubber legs and is beginning to bounce up and down.
Same at ten-thirty:
Have the subjects do the same thing they were doing the previous night at ten-thirty.
You are now Santa Claus.
You will begin to recite the poem Mary Had a Little Lamb, but every time you try to say the word lamb, the word butt will come out.
Advise all of the subjects that one the count of three, they will become the opposite sex.
Select on the subjects to be a new sex expert (like Dr. Ruth). Have that subject look out into the audience and find several people who are under-sexed.
You are a sex goddess. Everyone wants you.
Tell the subjects that a film crew has lost their sound for the XXX rated movie and that the subjects will begin creating sex sounds.
You are a world famous singer.
This is your big chance to be on television. Some lucky boy or girl will appear on a commercial. On the count of three, we are all going sing the Oscar Meyer song. That one that sings the loudest and the best will be on television. One, two, three - sing!
You are the smartest person in the world. You can answer any question.
On the count of three, we will all stand up and begin to make a snowman.
You are all on your sleds and it has snowed a lot. On the count of three, you will be taking a fast sled ride down the biggest hill in the world. Be careful not to hit one of the trees.
Sounds from Parents Room:
All of you have noticed that there are times when mom and dad are in their bedroom for a long time. You are now listening at their door and are hearing funny sounds. Tell me what it sounds like.
You have just been stopped by the police for driving 95 in the 55 mile per hour zone. Get read to give a good excuse.
On the count of three, you will discover that your butt has disappeared. Be careful not to slide out of your chair. When you try to sit, you slide right out of the chair.
For the gentlemen on stage, on the count of three, you will discover that someone in the audience has stolen your "thing."
On the count of three, all of the men on stage will notice that they are wearing red nail polish. The women will try not to laugh, but as the laugh, they will notice that their hands are very hairy.
You are beginning to yawn and stretch. As you stretch, you touch the person next to you and cannot remove your hand.
You will place your index finger in your ear and find that it is stuck there. You cannot pull your finger from your ear. The only way to get your index finger from your ear is to place your other index finger in your nose. You may now remove the index finger from your ear, but the finger in your nose is now stuck.
You will try to leave the stage, but find that your foot is stuck.
On the count of three, you will all stand up and begin to dance. When I say the word FREEZE you will stop without moving a muscle.
Stuck to the Chair:
Tell one of the subjects that you are going to send them back to their seat in the audience, but no matter how hard they try to get up, they will be stuck to their chair.
Tell all of the subjects that they are naked. Tell them that they can not leave their seats.
You are Superman. You will keep trying to fly, but will have trouble getting off the ground.
On the count of three, all of you will stand up. You will be surfing on a big wave.
We are now going to have a talent show and see who will win a big surprise. One the count of three, you will be ready to sing, dance, recite a poem, or tell a joke.
Talk Moon Talk:
Tell the subjects that they have landed on the moon and will not begin to speak in moon talk.
You will begin to give excuses to the IRS or Revenue Canada agent about your tax return.
Tell the subjects that they cannot tie their shoes no matter how hard they try.
You are becoming very old -- about 95 years old.
Watching a Movie:
I am going to give each of you a number. Now, the people with the odd numbers will be watching a movie that they find very sad. The people with the even numbers will think the movie is funny.
You know the bride and groom very well. Tell the rest of the group why they should donate money.
Tell the subjects that they are in space and are becoming weightless.
All of you will be discussing why you should get to go to heaven.
Inform all of the subjects that they are at a wild party.
Hand a pair of sunglasses without the lenses to a subject while telling them that they are X-Ray glasses. Allow the subject to look over the audience.
On the count of three, you will see a XXX rated movie. 1, 2, 3 -- there is someone you know in the movie. Alternately, you are the star of the movie.
On the count of three, you will all begin to yawn. You will not be able to stop yawning until you see someone else in the audience yawning. When you see someone else yawning in the audience, you will then fall asleep.